How To Win Friends and Influence People – Six ways to make people like you

In my previous article I wrote about Fundamental Techniques In Handling People, and we discovered the first 3 principles:

✔️Principle 1 – Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
✔️Principle 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation.
✔️Principle 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want.

In this post we will cover how we could make people like us. 🙂

💡1 – Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere

✔️Principle 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people.

If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness. We are interested in others when they are interested in us.

💡2 – A simple way to make a good first impression

✔️Principle 2 – Smile.

Everyone knows that the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back. Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says “I like you, you make me happy. I am glad to see you.” That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect.

A psychologist expressed his feelings about a smile: “People who smile, tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”

The chairman of the board of directors of one of the largest rubber companies in the United States, observed that people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it. This industrial leader doesn’t put much faith in the old adage that hard work alone is the magic key that will unlock the door to our desires. “I have known people, who succeeded because they had a rip-roaring good time conducting their business. Later, I saw those people change as the fun became work. The business had grown dull, they lost all joy in it, and they failed.” You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” Every body in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. For example, two people may be in the same place, doing the same thing; both may have about an equal amount of money and prestige – and yet one may be miserable and the other happy.

Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless – that there is joy in the world.

💡3 – If you don’t do this, you are headed for trouble

✔️Principle 3 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it – and you have place d yourself at a sharp disadvantage.

People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost. For many centuries, nobles and magnates supported artists, musicians and authors so that their creative works would be dedicated to them. Libraries and museums owe their richest collections to people who cannot bear to think that their names might perish from the memory of the race. Nearly every church is beautified by stained-glass windows commemorating the names of their donors. Many of the buildings on the campus of most universities bear the names of donors who contributed large sums of money for this honor.

Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.

Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important – yet how many of us do it ? Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chat a few minutes and can’t even remember his or her name by the time we say goodbye. One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: “To recall a vote’s name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion.” And the ability to remember names is almost as important in business and social contacts as it is in politics.

💡4 – An easy way to become a good conversationalist

✔️Principle 4 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

“But I have done this: I had listened intently. I had listened because I was genuinely interested. And he felt it.” – That kind of listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.

💡5 – How to interest people

✔️Principle 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

All leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s hart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.

💡6 – How to make people like you instantly

✔️Principle 6 – Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

There is one all-important law of human contact. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is: always make the other person feel important. The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature.

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. You want your friends and associated to be “hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.” All of us want that. So let’s obey the Golden Rule, and give unto other what we would have other give onto us.

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.

“Talk to people about themselves” said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire. “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”


🎓Summary

Six ways to make people like you:

✔️Principle 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people.
✔️Principle 2 – Smile.
✔️Principle 3 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
✔️Principle 4 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
✔️Principle 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
✔️Principle 6 – Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

2 thoughts on “How To Win Friends and Influence People – Six ways to make people like you

  1. Pingback: How To Win Friends and Influence People – Twelve ways to win people on your way of thinking | alin miu

  2. Pingback: How To Win Friends and Influence People – Nine ways to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment | alin miu

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