Games people play

Structural analysis

Observations on spontaneous social activities show that, from time to time, people visibly change their body position, point of view, tone of voice, vocabulary, or even other aspects of their behaviors. These behavioral changes are often followed by emotional changes. These changes and differences can be called “ego states”.
Each individual seems to have a limited set of such ego states, and they should not be mistaken with roles, but they are philological realities.
This set of states can be grouped into the following categories:

  1. ego states that resemble parental figures (Parent)
  2. ego states direction autonomously toward objective evaluation of the reality (Adult)
  3. archaic ego states that are still active, that were picked up during childhood (Child)

Transactional analysis

The unit of social interaction will be called “transaction” from here on.
If two or more people get together in a social group, sooner or later one of them will speak or display some form of awareness of the other folks’ presence. This is a transactional stimulus. Then another person will say something or do something that is related to that stimulus and that will be called a transactional response.

Simplified, transactional analysis is responsible for identifying the ego state that produced the stimulus and also the ego state that produced the response.
The most simple transactions are the ones where both stimulus and response are both Adult. Example: the surgeon makes the gesture of reaching out for the knife during surgery and the assistant evaluates this gesture, estimates the forces and distances, and will hand the knife to the surgent exactly in his hand.
The next most simple transactions are Child-Parent. Example: a child with a fever asks for a glass of water and the mother carefully handles a glass of water.
Both examples of transactions presented above are complementary; meaning the response is adequate and expected.
Most often transactions are produced in a chain; so that each response is a stimulus for the next transaction.
The first rule of communication: communication will continue without any problems as long transactions are complementary; the corollary is that as long as transactions are complementary, communication can continue endlessly.
This rule is independent of the nature and content of the transactions(what they talk about).
The rule is valid even if the folks are involved in a critical gossip(Parent-Parent), solving a problem(Adult-Adult) or they play together(Child-Child or Parent-Child).

The reverse of the rule is the following: communication is interrupted when there is a cross transaction.
Example of Type 1 (a) cross transaction: the housekeeper is getting revolted during a discussion about washing the dishes;
The conversation that was initiated by the agent as Adult-Adult will be suspended and may be followed either by a Parent-Child discussion or by an Adult-Adult discussion related to the future of the job.

Simple complementary transactions appear most often in work relationships or in superficial social interactions and this type of conversation can be perturbed by cross-transactions.

Speed Of Trust by Stephen Covey

You can easily see the importance of “striking at the roots” in other dimensions – for instance, when you compare the impact of focusing on preventing disease instead of merely treating it, or on preventing crime instead of simply enforcing the law. In this book, you begin to see it in business where, instead of compliance, the focus is on optimization through developing an ethical character, transparent motivation, and superb competence in producing sustained, superior results.

Continue reading

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part four: Renewal

The final post in this series is now available. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is a book that can guide you through challenges and it is helpful to keep it near.

1️⃣ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part One: Paradigms and Principles
2️⃣ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part two: Private Victory
3️⃣ The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part three: Public Victory

Continue reading

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part three: Public Victory

“You can’t talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into.”
Real self-respect comes from dominion over self, from true independence. And that’s the focus on Habits 1,2 and 3. Independence is an achievement. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve real independence, it’s foolish to try to develop human relations skills. We might try. But when the difficult times come, and they will, we won’t have the foundation to keep things together.

Continue reading

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part two: Private Victory

In this article, we will cover the first three habits, part of the Private Victory: be proactive, begin with the end in mind, and put first things first. The first post from this series contains details about Paradigms and Principles. So, let’s get started!

Continue reading

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Part One: Paradigms and Principles

Almost all the literature in the first 150 years or so focused on what could be called the Character Ethic as the foundation of success – things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.

Character Ethics taught that there are basic principles of effective living and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

Continue reading

Performance Management – From Big Picture to Details

Introduction

Performance Management

  • is one of the most complex processes for a manager in any organization and yet it is the inevitable part of an organizational process
  • In a nutshell, it’s the process of creating an environment where people perform to the best of their ability in order to meet the company’s goals and they are evaluated periodically by the line managers or bosses
  • it is a sum total of recognizing, managing, training and developing the performance of the human resources in an organization

Case study: RaNdler’s case

  • Randler joined his new BPO organization after his three productive years in this role
  • In his stint with the previous company, he won the employee of the Quarter award each year as he over exceeded the expectations set by his manager
Continue reading

The 4 Disciplines of Execution – Applying 4DX as a Leader of a Frontline Team

This article closes the “The 4 Disciplines of Execution” series. The first one focused on presenting the 4 disciplines of execution, the second one was about how to apply the disciplines when you are a leader of leaders and the third one is about applying 4DX as a Leader of a Frontline Team.

Continue reading

The 4 Disciplines of Execution – Applying 4DX as a Leader of Leaders

This article is the second part of “The 4 Disciplines of Execution” series of posts. In the previous one we focused on presenting the 4 disciplines: focus on the wildly important, act on the lead measures, keep a compelling scorecard and create a cadence of accountability. This one covers how to apply these disciplines by being a leader of leaders.

Continue reading